I couldn’t stomach the sight of television, having watched too much the night before, so, like many people I turned to my Facebook page to detect the mood of my “friends” there.
My feed was consumed by the 2016 election, and post after post displayed utter disgust and disbelief that a crass “billionaire” television personality with no public service experience could be set to occupy the White House over a smart woman with forty years of political experience.
What it said to me was that misogyny won over intelligence. That Americans hate women even more than they hate black and brown people.
And this is 2016!
But among those posts were the few who cheered Donald Trump’s win and the supposed “change” it would bring, as if electing the first woman president was not revolutionary enough.
Some of these pro-Trump posts were real “friends” I’ve known for years, others were people I hardly know – none of whom I see in person very much, if ever.
So, I’ve set about unfriending my Trumpeting Facebook friends.
I know, I know, I should be rising above the much and coming together with those with whom I disagree, but you know what? Fuck that!
It’s too soon for reconciliation. I’m not yet ready to join together with the deplorable half of the country and sing Kumbia.
Everyone says what we need to do is “understand” Trump voters, but at this point I feel I understand them all too well.
What I keep hearing about why Trumpians allowed his sexist, racist, xenophobic, nationalistic, lies to slide is because, although they knew he was lying, his ideas were their ideas. They called him a “straight shooter” not for being honest, but because his warped ideas aligned with theirs exactly.
Kind of like magical maniacal thinking.
So, knowing these Facebook “friends” agree with a batshit crazy misogynist buffoon, how can I stay “friends” with them? Now that I know what is truly in their hearts I don’t want to hear from them.
Going forward, all I see is emotional anxiety, arguments and a big energy suck from engaging in their Trumpeted posts, so I’d rather do without, thank you very much.
Options for unfriending Trump voting-Facebook-friends
From the post you can choose to Unfollow, which means you’ll stay friends with that person, but you won’t see their posts. Just in case you need to message them, “Fuck off!” in the middle of the night.
From their post, choose Hide Post to see fewer posts like the one you’re objecting to. That’s for people who are not complete and total idiots.
On their status page or your own Friends page, you can pull down the Friends tab and choose Unfriend. Facebook says they won’t be able to see posts you shared with your Friends or what they share with their friends. Presumably, they’ll see your Public posts.
In none of these actions does the friend get a notification, so unless you inform them prior to the unfriending, they’d never notice you’re gone until they try to message you or if they saw you missing from their Friend list.
So you have to make a statement if you want the unfriending known.
For more on editing your Facebook news feed, read What You See.
Unfriending in progress
So far, I’ve unfriended a Vancouver blogger, a cannabis activist in Hawaii I’ve known for 20 years, and a cousin in Michigan, (the first of possibly many, given the Michigan outcome).
Plus, I made a hollow unfriending threat to a cousin who is not my “friend” who I only see on my family’s Facebook page. From her home in Virginia, she posted “Making America Great Again!!” and all I could see was Making America Hate.
She replied, “Really hurts me to find out that you feel this way. We are family and my political beliefs I never would have thought would affect us in anyway.”
I said, “I guess some things should be thought out better. Why would I hang out with a self-hating woman? If you voted for Trump then that’s who you are.”
Back in August, I unfriended a Canadian podcast expert who could not contain his enthusiasm for Trump during the convention. I explained how I thought a person with his influence would have his reputation tarnished by posting such hyperbolic stuff about someone most people viewed as a bastard. The backlash comments were swift and hateful and I told the podcaster good-bye in one final comment.
You might say, oh, how unbecoming of you Mari, so petty, so vindictive. But I’m really ok with unfriending Trumpians and telling them why. Unfriending feels quite satisfying right now. It’s not like I’m legally disowning them, or toilet papering their house, or poisoning their dog.
Facebook is so superficial, what’s the downside of unfriending someone? Not being invited to join a group? Not being asked to Like a page? I can do without that.
I think unfriending Trump Voting Facebook Friends is a perfectly reasonable way to show your virtual friends that voting for assholes has consequences.
If you don’t understand why electing Trump was such a mistake read this about Day 1 in Trump’s America.
By the way, to find out if your “friends” have Liked the Trump Facebook page, check out My Friends who Like Donald J. Trump while you’re logged in to Facebook. Their allegiance will be revealed.
My readers know I don’t post about politics often, if ever, since that is not the focus of this blog.
But if you object to what I’ve just said, then you certainly have the right to unfriend, unfollow, or unsubscribe me.
That’s fine. It will show me who among my readers are uneducated/racist/sexist/xenophobes who want to make America hate again.